


Written in the Stars

by shadowkissed



Series: stars. (they will guide us home) [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Established Relationship, Going against the system, M/M, Minor Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Minor Kang Taehyun/Huening Kai, Tattoo Artist Choi Yeonjun, not soulmates, possible ot3 ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23225209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkissed/pseuds/shadowkissed
Summary: Soulmates!au in which everyone lives in a world of black and white, and only start seeing colours when they meet their soulmates.Beomgyu is not the one who makes Soobin's life a colourful one.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Series: stars. (they will guide us home) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012149
Comments: 22
Kudos: 235





	Written in the Stars

The concept of soulmates is a foreign thing for Beomgyu.

As someone born without the soulmates mark, he can’t comprehend the fact that some people are privileged enough to be born with a chance to see the world in colours. Those people are branded with colour-coded marks, proudly wearing them in their skins to show the world that they are one of the lucky ones.

Beomgyu was not lucky enough to be born with one, but he was lucky enough to find love so early in his life.

He met Choi Soobin when he was a kid, still starry eyed and innocent as he asked to see all other kids who had soulmate marks in various beautiful colours. After all, those were the only colours he would ever see in his monochrome world. When it came to Soobin, he had no use of the colours. All he cared about was how pretty Soobin’s eyes looked, shining in various lights that depict all his emotions clearly. The boy did not need colours to be beautiful.

Even as they grew up and met once again in college, Beomgyu just found himself falling in love all over again. This time, he was not alone.

In the world full of people looking for their soulmates, Beomgyu was convinced that they were making their own system; a big _Fuck You_ to the universe and their rules. They didn’t care about what had been written in the stars and just stayed in their own little world where everything felt right.

The catch was that Choi Soobin had a tiny crown shaped mark in his wrist. It flashed in a gradation of light blue and yellow.

It’s a beautiful mark. The only colour Beomgyu frequently saw in his monochrome life, yet it also served as a constant reminder that Choi Soobin was not supposed to be his.

“You’re staring at it again.”

Beomgyu jerked out of his little trance, prying his gaze off Soobin’s wrist just to catch the guy looking at him. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t realize the male had stopped typing on his laptop, now paying attention to him instead of his work.

“I’m always staring at you, what’s new?” he scoffed, turning his gaze away.

“But you’ve been staring at my mark a little more often these days, what’s the matter?”

It was easy to get his attention, really. Soobin just had to steal a peck on his cheek and tickle his sides. The latter got him laughing breathlessly, punching his boyfriend on the arm before he finally spilled the question in his mind.

“I’ve just been wondering about something.”

“Hm?”

“Would you want to meet your soulmate… like someday?”

He arched a brow, a little taken aback by the random question. “Suddenly?”

“Just answer it,” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, taking Soobin’s hand and bringing it up just so he could bite his knuckles. If Soobin minded it, he didn’t really show it, probably used to his antics.

“Well, it’s a soulmate thing, so I’m going to meet them eventually,” he answered, brows knitted in thought for a second before his face softened once his gaze fell on Beomgyu again. “But I know that I would never love anyone or anything else the way I do for you.”

How the guy could turn such an innocent question into something that melted his heart, Beomgyu couldn’t understand.

“You’re trying to switch the topic, aren’t you?”

Soobin laughed. “Did not! Maybe I just wanted those 10 kisses you promised me.”

And that’s how this conversation always ended, because Soobin liked postponing the inevitable until it really happened and Beomgyu could never say no when it came to intimacy.

When it came to replacing Soobin’s laptop on the edge of his desk, with Soobin’s focus fully poured on him. His arms wrapped securely around his waist, while Beomgyu cupped the taller’s cheeks to deliver the said kisses.

It was something that he noticed early in their relationship when they were still exploring a lot. Beomgyu liked giving small, chaste kisses. Playful pecks followed by soft giggles that were eventually drowned when Soobin pulled him into a proper kiss. Because Soobin always liked to kiss deeply, taking away his breath and his ability to think about anything else other than the taste of the pair of lips on top of his own.

“I’m glad you found me again,” Soobin whispered against his lips.

Now this, was something they frequently said in exchange of an ‘I love you’. Something they invented after a long talk about how lucky they were to find each other again after years. This kind of remembrance always made Beomgyu wonder if the universe had made a mistake when assigning the soulmate brands.

How come he did not have the same mark when it felt so _right_ for him to be with Soobin? When their souls breathed in the same rhythm, and everything only made sense when they were together?

This time, he did not wonder because he already knew the answer.

“I might…” _I might have found your soulmate._ “I might have gotten another tattoo.”

Soobin didn’t look surprised, considering his boyfriend did like inking himself with tiny tattoos. “Is it somewhere I can kiss?”

“Yes, but once it finished. I have another appointment tomorrow,” he said, placing his hand low on his waist just where he got himself the new ink. Soobin took the hand, linking their fingers together and returning his lips to the kisses.

“Then I’ll just kiss somewhere else today.”

The answer came in the form of another blue-yellow crown shaped mark etched on the nape of this pretty boy.

It’s funny how fate worked.

Beomgyu wouldn’t have seen the mark if only he just stuck with his old tattoo artist, yet he made an appointment with this new tattoo studio. The guy was awfully friendly, plush lips always stretched into playful smiles and spewing random jokes. He made Beomgyu feel comfortable on both sessions they had for his new tattoo. He made it harder for Beomgyu to hate the guy.

It was a sick punishment given by the universe, that he had to be the one who found Soobin’s soulmate.

“Choi Yeonjun-ssi,” he called out, earning a hum from the latter. “Are you a nice guy?”

The guy lifted his head to give him a curious yet amused look. “Are you scared of getting an infection if I’m not a nice guy?”

“It’s not that! Just answer me.”

“Well, my mom said that I’m a good son. Also, I know some aunties from stores I frequently stopped by and they love me. That makes me a pretty nice guy, don’t you think?”

Beomgyu pursed his lips to a side at the answer, watching the top of Yeonjun’s head as the guy focused on inking a spot just a little above his hip bone. He stared at him intently for a few moments until the guy’s eyes met him again.

“Why did you ask?” Yeonjun asked, urging him now.

“I’m trying to decide whether I should ask you out for coffee or not.”

At his answer, the tattoo gun stopped moving for a moment. “You’re asking me out, knowing full well that I have a soulmate?”

“You haven’t found him,” he said, quickly adding upon seeing a confused look from the latter. “Since you only offer black and white.”

“Smart. I don’t see why we can’t hang out.”

Beomgyu returned the cheeky smile, at the same time hating how it felt foreign on his lips.

Because he knew that he was not going to be the person who met Yeonjun at the café that night.

It’s Soobin who had been bugging him for a date at that certain café, gushing about the chocolate pie he tasted the other day with his colleagues and how much he wanted Beomgyu to try it. When Yeonjun arrived at the place, expecting to see the customer who flirted with him, he would find his soulmate instead.

After all, that was what the universe wanted for them.

Beomgyu’s place was right here, curled up alone in the cold bed with the blanket covering up to his nose and his phone dangling off a hand while he dozed off. He got several messages from Soobin asking his whereabouts early in the night, but they stopped completely. He assumed that was when Soobin’s attention was stolen by someone else.

When he was woken up from his light doze, it was because of an additional weight joining him in the bed. The scent of their shared shampoo filled his nose when he turned around, catching Soobin by his kiss first before he even opened his eyes.

Even in the dimness of the room, he could see the spark in Soobin’s eyes.

“You didn’t show up,” he tried so hard to look disappointed, Beomgyu would applaud his acting any other day.

“I know. Fell asleep.”

“I met my soulmate.” That’s fast. Beomgyu didn’t expect him to be this frank, telling him a second he arrived home. While he appreciated the honesty, he hadn’t thought of a way to react. “His name is—“

“I know,” Beomgyu cut him off, ignoring the puzzled look thrown his way. “Choi Yeonjun.”

“He got this weird colour on his hair. Said it’s blue? He also said that he wanted to make a good impression on his soulmate, that’s why he constantly dyed his hair in different colours, but he—wait, how did you know…”

“Soobin.” His expression was still full of questions when he looked at Beomgyu. “Are you happy?”

Soobin stopped at the question, words dying on his tongue. He was probably dying to tell Beomgyu everything about his meeting with his soulmate. That’s just how their relationship was ever since they were best friends. They were always dying to tell each other something exciting about their days; every little detail and the big picture—because they were best friends on top of being lovers. But this was an unknown territory; it’s not a matter of a workplace problem or family banter.

It had something to do with the look in Soobin’s eyes, the way it was all too familiar for Beomgyu. It was too close to the way Soobin’s eyes looked the first time he told Beomgyu that he was in love with him.

Apparently Soobin realized the problem too, since the glow of excitement around him dimmed down a little. His gaze turned into a knowing one, as he gathered Beomgyu in his arms and pressed a tender kiss to the top of his head. Warm breaths caressing his hair as the male spoke softly.

“You know this is not going to change anything, right? I’m still in love with you and only you.”

 _Do you?_ He wanted to ask, but instead he repeated the question.

“Soobin, are you happy?”

There was a second of hesitation, but Beomgyu tipped his head up and Soobin finally smiled at him.

“I am.”

Beomgyu smiled back. This time it was genuine, because this was what he wanted. He just really wanted Soobin to be happy.

And he did mean it.

He loved to listen when Soobin was talking about the little discoveries he had with colours. It was like he just reborn in a different world, and just started to explore it now. His eyes were filled with sparks of excitement every time he told Beomgyu about his beautiful new world.

It ranged from how beautiful the sky looked during sunset, or the colours of froot loops they loved to eat. Sometimes it was about the colour of Yeonjun’s ever-changing hair, which came up often because the guy enjoyed his colour exploration as much as Soobin did. They often did it together, because they were soulmates, after all, and this is just what soulmates do when they find each other.

The colours were hard to imagine for Beomgyu, since he had never seen them before, but he loved to see how happy Soobin looked every time he talked about them. Or Yeonjun. He was happy for his boyfriend.

Until he wasn’t.

“I wish you could see this,” Soobin would say at times.

The first few times were endearing. Eventually, it only served as a reminder that Beomgyu was not supposed to be a part of their exploration. He was not a part of their little new world because he couldn’t see colours the way Yeonjun did. Most importantly, he was not the one making it happen for Soobin.

“I wish you could see yourself in colours, how beautiful you look,” he said one day, after spending a good time staring at Beomgyu while the artist focused on his sketch. “Or how beautiful your art looks in colours.”

Sometimes Soobin could be so dense, it hurt.

“I wish—“

“You wish for a lot of things lately, Soobin-ah,” he finally snapped.

The room quietened down abruptly. Silence so thick someone could cut it with a butter knife. Perhaps it was the sharpness of his tone that startled his boyfriend. Perhaps it was the slash of paint splattered across his sketch paper.

What colour was it? Soobin had explained that the colour gave the vibe of something angry and passionate. But how would Beomgyu know that when he was not privileged enough to see the world in colours?

“You said nothing would change, but now we don’t ever talk about anything anymore unless it involves Yeonjun-ssi or colours. I don’t even have a clue about how they look like,” he said, regretting every word that spilled off his lips. It felt even more like a nightmare when he saw Soobin’s face decorated with guilt.

“I’m sorry… I should be more sensitive. I’ll try to tone it down, okay?” he smiled, ruffling his hair gently.

“It’s fine, hyung. I’m just a little stressed,” he said quickly, not wanting to rain on his parade.

It was not Soobin’s fault that he did not have a soulmate.

Beomgyu had always wanted to make Soobin happy, and he made the way for him to meet his soulmate for this purpose. What he didn’t expect was that he overestimated himself to be happy for his boyfriend.

The harsh truth.

It killed him that he was no longer the reason for the sparks in Soobin’s eyes.

It only went further south from that point.

As if Beomgyu was not already insecure enough, Soobin just had to feed it; starting by the lack of them being _us_ , for Soobin’s _we_ had changed into Yeonjun and him.

The most obvious hint was found in the touches shared between them. Intimacy spoke in its own language that could be understood by those who longed for it.

“What’s the matter?”

Beomgyu leaned away from the kiss after he felt a flinch on Soobin’s lips the moment their lips touched. This never happened before. Kisses are something more instinctual for them at this point, something that felt like a routine – a kiss to welcome home which says _‘I miss you when you’re away_ ’. A random kiss for when one of them got up from their shared bed or the couch just because they could. A kiss goodbye when one of them had to leave, a silent _‘I will miss you’_ exchanged from the contact.

This was their first kiss that did not feel like home to him.

“Just got home… so I’m kinda dirty, uhh, let me shower first!” Soobin said with a warm smile and a squeeze to his hand.

It was supposed to reassure him, just like how the gesture would do any other day. Except today, it backfired because he could feel the metal band around Soobin’s finger digging into his skin, instantly reminding him of the countless knuckle rings Yeonjun liked to wear when he’s not working on his ink.

Soobin just got back from meeting his soulmate, and Beomgyu was convinced that Soobin’s home was not in him anymore.

The inevitable happened on a summer day.

Soobin had described it as a very beautiful day, blue sky and warm breeze. As usual, it just looked gloomy and grey for Beomgyu.

It happened in a single “I want a break up,” under a cold gaze.

It happened in the form of suitcases on the doorway of their shared apartment.

“No,” Soobin stood in the doorway, blocking the way out of the already small escape. “You’re not doing this.”

“What am I doing, Soobin-ah?”

“You’re leaving me.”

Beomgyu laughed loudly, ignoring the way Soobin gaped at him, incredulous at the whole situation. It was hilarious for him, how Soobin still needed _him_ on top of his new, colourful life with Yeonjun. If he thought that he was selfish for not telling him about Yeonjun earlier, he had no more guilt left.

After all, Soobin had left him first.

“We talked about this, Soobin. It’s not a contract and we’re free to leave whenever we want.”

(Beomgyu has suggested at first, sick of his thoughts and discussions about how he shouldn’t be dating someone who had a soulmate.

“Okay let’s do it like this. We can just date until you find your soulmate, or until I’m sick of you.”

“Hey!”

“The first option would happen earlier, mark my word.”

“Bold of you to assume that I’d want out once I found my soulmate.”

“Bold of you to assume you wouldn’t.”

“Wanna bet?”

“You’re on!”)

“No, wait,” the panic in Soobin’s voice almost made him laugh again. As if the guy would lose anything by losing him. “Beomgyu, you can’t do this to me.”

“What do I owe you, Choi Soobin? I paid half of the purchase of this place. I delivered your soulmate to your doorstep. I spent half a decade wasting my time with you, thinking that I was enough.”

“You are!”

“Clearly not,” Beomgyu took a deep breath, lifting his hand to stop further interruption. “You can say that you’re not in love with Yeonjun-ssi, but you are in love with the colours, hyung. It’s all you’ve been talking about for weeks. I’ve seen it in your eyes. Now, if you’d just let me stay in my colourless life in return, that would be very nice.”

Soobin couldn’t even say anything in return to that. The male never looked more like a stranger to Beomgyu. He always felt like home, but now the home felt deserted, losing its warmth.

“Can we talk about it first?”

That was just enough confirmation for Beomgyu.

As Soobin tried to reach his hand to hold him back, Beomgyu swatted his hand away, cradling his arm to his chest as if the touch burned. Soobin looked at him wide-eyed.

“You don’t understand, hyung. I don’t want you anymore.”

The finality in his voice paralyzed Soobin in his spot, to the point that he didn’t try to run after him when Beomgyu rolled his suitcase to the elevator. It was for the best, because he started crying when the elevator door slid close on his face. He crouched on the floor, face pressed to his folded knees.

He was angry. He wanted to loathe Soobin for not keeping his promise to everything the same way as before Yeonjun came into the scene, for not keeping his promise to never love anyone or anything else the same way he did Beomgyu.

But how could he do that? When Soobin looked so beautiful, getting all excited over discovering new colours. It only made Beomgyu fall for him all over again.

He fell in love with the sparks in Soobin’s eyes and the curves of his excited smile when he talked about colours.

The only way for them to stay was for Soobin to accept Yeonjun as his soulmate and partner for life, just as the universe had written in the stars. For that to happen, Beomgyu had to remove himself.

So he did just that.

-

“You and Soobin breaking up is the reason why I don’t believe in true love anymore.”

It was difficult to take his words seriously when Hueningkai was stuffing his mouth with a whole pancake, faking a dramatic sigh that was soon followed by a delighted hum.

“You never believed in true love anyway. Why do you think we broke up 13 times?” Taehyun chimed in from next to him.

“14 today,” Kai said once he swallowed his food, immediately turning to look at Beomgyu. “We just broke up today actually, but neither of us wanted to bail on our breakfast plan with you. It’s been so long!”

Upon a single look, nobody would believe that Taehyun and Hueningkai were soulmates. These guys had found each other too early in their lives; at the age of 4 where they did not even understand the concept of soulmates. Their lives were always intertwined as they became each other’s lovers, best friends, enemies, and sometimes exes.

“You guys are literally soulmates who keep going back with each other at the end of the day, and here you are, saddened by the end of a relationship that shouldn’t have started,” Beomgyu said, flipping his waffle with a fork.

As the silence dragged for a beat too long, he looked up, catching the boys looking at him with a mix of sympathy and sceptic.

“You’re really not going to give him a chance?” Taehyun finally asked.

Beomgyu shrugged, glancing at his phone screen that hadn’t stopped lighting up every five minutes or so with a message from Soobin. “It’s better this way. Less painful to leave now instead of waiting for him to fall in love with his soulmate… if he hasn’t already.”

“It really doesn’t work that way!” Kai exclaimed, putting down his eating utensils for the first time as a sign that he’s fully into the conversation now. “How long has it been already since Yeonjun?”

“A few weeks… a month?”

“And he still kissed you? Touched you?”

The question made Beomgyu choke, turning his gaze somewhere else. “It’s none of your business—ow! Fine, yes!” he hissed, rubbing his shin that just got kicked by the taller male.

“Hyung, trust me, if he wanted to take the easy way and leave you, he’d done it by the first week.”

“Excuse me, Huening Kai, what are you implying?” Beomgyu frowned, a little offended but mostly confused.

Thankfully, Taehyun got in between the weird discussion to explain.

“You see, when we broke up, we started seeing someone else a few times and we won’t even last a day with them,” he said, as if that would make him feel better, knowing that soulmates always end up back with each other. Seeing Beomgyu’s expression, Taehyun frantically added. “Cause it hurts.”

“That you love each other so much?”

“No, stupid. It’s hurting us physically,” Kai said, slamming his hand onto the table to emphasize his point, gesturing at his soulmate. “Whenever I kiss, or hold hand with someone that is not this guy, it stung me.”

“It’s kind of like the price we have to pay for not sticking by the person the universe had decided for us,” Taehyun said, side eyeing the male sitting next to him with maple syrup dripping from a corner of his lips. “Which is unfair, seeing that they gave me this guy.”

“Hey!”

“You’re saying that Soobin was hurt every time he touched and kissed me?”

The puzzles clicked into place.

All the flinches and reluctance at the first week after meeting Yeonjun. The lack of contacts and intimacy. The change of warmth in Soobin’s kisses and touches that Beomgyu had thought to be caused by his newfound relationship with the tattooist.

“Right? So let’s just give him another chance.”

Beomgyu blinked a few times, trying to focus back on his two friends instead of letting his thoughts fly somewhere else. That was proven to be a wise thing, since he spotted his phone in the hand of Taehyun’s instead of the table where he left it.

“Wait what, what do you mean a chance? It’s not like he had anything to make up to me—KANG TAEHYUN?” he yelled, almost throwing himself across the table when he saw Taehyun tapped his screen with a finality.

Too late.

“You just agreed to meet up with him,” he said, showing him the messages that he just exchanged with Soobin. “Tonight at 8.”

“What the fuck? You can’t just do that on my behalf—“ Beomgyu sunk back on his seat.

He wanted to be angry at the two for setting him up to this, yet the relief he felt was betraying him. Still, there was a sharp pang on his chest, a premonition. He knew that if he saw Soobin’s face once again, his resolve would crumble and he would beg Soobin to take him back. Anything he did, he would just be the bad guy, both to Soobin and Yeonjun.

“Hyung, it’s really not your fault that you’re still in love with him,” Kai’s soft voice broke through the vile thoughts filling his mind. Beomgyu only noticed then that he was clutching onto his chest. Breaths coming out in painful gasps. “And it won’t be your fault if you want to be selfish about it, especially if he still wants you just as much.”

“I will be taking away colours from him… I don’t want that for him.”

When he took a deep breath to calm himself down, only then did he notice that Kai had moved to sit next to him, engulfing him in a warm hug while Taehyun stared at him with a knowing smile.

“You think I’d let you do that to Soobin hyung if I didn’t know that you’d want the best for him?”

Beomgyu blinked at him, feeling the warm tears in his eyes that he tried his best to hold back so he wouldn’t have to break down in a breakfast café.

“Let him decide what he wants, Beomie hyung.”

-

It was so easy for Taehyun to say that, when Beomgyu was the one who’s about to have another meltdown the moment he caught a sight of Soobin after their few days of ‘break up’.

How long had it been since the last time they stayed apart for so long? To say that Beomgyu didn’t miss the guy would be a lie, yet he also knew that it was wise, just to avoid the inevitable ache that would greet him when he looked into the pair of gentle eyes.

“You came.”

“I didn’t want to.”

Soobin just smiled bitterly at his answer, sighing as if he just got the confirmation he needed to give up. Tipping his head back, he exhaled a long sigh before looking at the latter again. Somehow still able to keep the friendly smile on his face.

It’d be a thousand times better if the guy stopped being so friendly. Make it easier for him to hate.

“I didn’t like how we ended so badly,” he said. Of course, Choi Soobin was never one to make enemies with anyone. “Just one more date, and then we can go on a separate way.”

“That’s what you wanted to ask for when you spammed my phone?”

Not asking for a second chance. Not to fix what had broken between them.

_Just a date._

“Yes. I don’t want to force you to take me back or anything. Just... one more day of being _us,_ ” Soobin said, offering his hand towards him with a hopeful look. “Just so I can appreciate it better. I mean, I don’t even remember the last time we kissed. If I knew it was the last one…”

“If you knew, what would you do?” he challenged, a playful smile toying over his lips.

Maybe because it was the first smile he cracked tonight, or because he had taken the hand offered to him, but the tension had been lifted from the air between them. As their fingers linked together naturally, it almost felt like the break-up never happened and this was just any other day in their life.

As they started walking on the street with their hands intertwined, Soobin threw a look at him, returning the smile with an equally impish way of his own.

“You’ll see.”

Count on them to run out of date ideas so early into their ‘last’ date.

After five years of dating, they had done pretty much everything in their bucket list, especially after a few times of travelling together. Beomgyu had expected Soobin to come up with a sort of plan for their date, only to have the male shrugging casually when asked.

“Just go with the flow!” he said.

His so-called _flow_ ended up with them sitting at the café they frequently visited, especially early in their relationship because of the location being close to the campus. Beomgyu sat down on his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, a clear look of boredom on his face.

“Come on, we haven’t been here in a while!” he whined. “Try to look like you’re enjoying it!”

“I do enjoy it, it just tastes like a lot of sleepless nights and report revisions,” Beomgyu said, recalling those days they would be the last customers in this place, crying over their unfinished thesis report. When he took a spoonful of the lemon meringue cake and shove it into his mouth, however, his eyes instantly lit up at the taste.

“Suddenly you’re so good at acting,” Soobin teased, earning a kick on his shin.

“This was my favourite back in the day, okay,” he said, shoving more cake into his mouth. Only once he devoured the whole thing did he look at his date again, arching a brow when he caught Soobin staring at him with his chin rested on his palm. “What? You’re going to pull that move from our first date where you wipe something off my lips, when there was actually nothing there?”

“I was still young and awkward back then! If it happens today, I wouldn’t have just settled with that.”

“And what would you do now that you’ve already an expert at it?” he questioned, holding his hand out towards the latter in a mock interview stance, as if he was holding a mic.

A look of amusement crossed his face for a second before it was replaced by mischief, puzzling Beomgyu for a bit especially when he felt a tug on his hand that caused him to lean forward. His heart stopped for a beat when he opened his eyes to Soobin’s so close to his own, tilted to a side as if he was going for a kiss.

The familiarity of all this and the ache of his lips with how much he missed their kisses almost made him give in to the temptation. Until Kai’s voice rang in the back of his mind.

_It’s hurting us physically._

He broke into laughter, at once breaking whatever moment they had between them.

“You’re still as bad as flirting, hyung. I can’t believe we dated for so long.”

Soobin seemed taken aback when he pulled away, rubbing the side of his neck as he would do whenever he felt uncomfortable. “Yeah… I can’t believe either.”

The _flow_ continued with an ice cream and a walk in the park.

“You really didn’t have any plan for this date, huh?” he commented, swaying himself lightly on a swing while licking his ice cream. Despite complaining, he sure did look too happy for this occasion.

“It’s a kinda plan, though, doing all these normal things as if it’s the last time.”

Beomgyu bit his lower lip at the reminder of this being their _last_. “Should we go home and just sleep, then?” he tried to joke.

“You’d come home with me?” Soobin shot back, making him regret his life decisions. “Kidding. It’s not in the plan.”

“We used to play a game with this, guessing each other’s ice cream flavours,” he quickly changed the topic, diverting his gaze to look at the cone of half-eaten ice cream. Drip of the sweets melted onto his hand from the warmth of the night. “But I guess it’s not fun anymore, since you can just see from the color now, cheater.”

“How am I supposed to figure it out from the colour? What kind of flavour is blue?” he protested, though shutting his lips shut quickly as soon as the words left his lips.

Noticing that, Beomgyu arched a brow. “Blue?”

“Sorry, I’m not supposed to talk about that thing with you. I don’t want to make you feel like something’s different from any other day,” he explained, hitting the side of his head lightly with a fist. “But I’m such a idiot.”

“I liked that from you. You could never shut up about something you’re excited about, and that’s endearing.”

“Not if it makes you feel out of place.”

Rolling his eyes, Beomgyu pointed at Soobin’s ice cream cone, noticing that it’s almost finished since the elder ate it so fast. “The flavour is strawberry, so it must be pink. It’s also the same colour as your hair. I just assumed since it looks the same shade of gray as your ice cream, and it’s fucking cute. Can’t believe you didn’t tell me that you dyed your hair, though.”

Soobin gaped at that. “What… how…”

“I’m colour blind, not stupid. I can learn the names of colours, cause I wanted to understand how you see the world, even though I literally don’t know how they look. What I hate is…” he took a deep breath, turning his head to meet Soobin’s eyes, still dazed from the surprise. “I hated it when you thought it’s necessary to babyproof me, as if it would hurt me to hear you talk about colours. You love it so much, and I hate the thought of you having to give up that part of your life to make me feel better. Or worse, give the whole thing up. I hate that…”

_you might someday realize that you love colours more than you do me._

Silence hung in the air between them, words carried away by the warm breeze that flew by the playground. The only sound was the _drip_ _drip_ of his ice cream melting into the pavement, and the slow creaking of the swing’s corroded chains.

“You know what,” Soobin sighed before he got up from the swing and threw his ice cream to the bin. “I don’t care anymore.”

Soobin. Throwing away his half-finished food? So not happening.

It alarmed him more when the taller guy took his face in his hands and leaned down to kiss him in the mouth, stealing away the gasp that escaped his lips the moment. It was exhilarating for him, but he was not the one who would be hurting.

When he recovered from the surprise, the first thing Beomgyu did was to pull away from the kiss and deliver a slap across Soobin’s face. It shocked even him, how the sound ripped through the silence of the park. The look of pain in his eyes didn’t seem to come from the slap.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His voice robotic and cold, void from any warmth he had always had in him. “I think I misread the signs? The way you look at me… I just assumed that you’re still in love with me. That we’re still in love.”

“You can’t be in love with me, not with all the things you can have when you’re not with me,” Beomgyu said, angrily getting up from the swing. Even more anger boiled in him when he spotted that his ice cream had ended up on the dirty ground. “What the fuck, Choi Soobin?”

“What do I have? Colours? You don’t want me anymore just because I can see colours now?”

He sounded just as angry now.

“That, and because it hurts you when you kiss me! Why do you have to settle with that? With _me?_ When you already have your own soulmate!”

“And that’s the reason why _you_ left me?” he yelled.

That’s the first time Soobin had ever raised his voice at him, and Beomgyu took a step backwards just to trip over the seat of his swing and sent sprawled on the ground. The crash seemed to surprise both of them, but the anger was still apparent on Soobin’s face. He kept going even as Beomgyu stared at him with eyes as big as saucer.

“I love you! I’m so in love with you that I thought I was going crazy when you broke up with me, ignoring all my messages! When you replied… god, that’s when I remembered how to breathe because it fucking hurt! It hurts more when you’re not with me!”

Beomgyu blinked at the confession, eyes stinging with the urge to cry. He wasn’t even sure anymore if he wanted to cry because of the pain from the fall, the whole fight, or because Soobin was cursing.

When the tears finally leaked out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, the firmness in Soobin’s jaws softened. Beomgyu couldn’t see any more change in his expression as he was busy rubbing his tears away, hiccupping.

“Hurts…”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to yell at you like that,” Soobin said, frantically made his way towards him. “Please don’t cry.”

Beomgyu sniffled, lifting his face to glare at the latter.

“My ass hurts, you dumbass!”

The _flow_ of the date was interrupted by a series of shouting, then punctuated by a snotty laughter.

They ended up sitting on top of the monkey bar, legs dangling off high from the ground and heads tipped back so they could look up at the polluted summer night sky. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the quietness of the night, until Beomgyu dared himself to reach out and take Soobin’s hand in his.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

Soobin shook his head, carefully linking their fingers together on top of his lap. “It doesn’t hurt that much, actually. Those two are exaggerating.”

“So it does hurt. There’s the matter of colours too… what if you wake up one day and everything is black and white again?”

The question had him thinking for a moment, but not long enough to let negative thoughts bloom in Beomgyu’s head. Maybe it had something to do with the way the male was playing with his fingers.

“It would suck, but I’m grateful to have the chance to enjoy the colours anyway. Cause even before my soulmate appeared, I already knew that you meant more than that to me,” he said, slowly bringing up Beomgyu’s hand to place soft kisses on his knuckles. His eyes were still trained on him as he spoke again. “The colours are beautiful, but you’re more beautiful than anything else, even in black and white.”

Beomgyu had to blink away the tears that started coming back to his eyes, opting to nuzzle his face into Soobin’s chest to wipe them away before he looked up at the male.

“Would it be painful to kiss me right now?”

“It would…” Soobin said, but leaning in to brush his lips against Beomgyu’s anyway, whispering into the feather light touch. “But it’d hurt me more if I don’t kiss you.”

-

“So what, you two are getting back together now?” Yeonjun arched a brow. He looked a little brighter since the last time Beomgyu saw him, and now his tattoo studio offered colour options for the tattoo.

“Kind of…?”

“Good, I was about to drag you back myself if you hadn’t,” he heaved a dramatic sigh of relief. “He kept whining and crying like a baby. I almost wanted to choke you for making us meet.”

“Hey! Thanks to that, you’re earning more now!”

Yeonjun just laughed, shaking his head slowly as he started working on the inking. It’s a tiny one, and his first coloured one despite not being able to see it anyway.

The idea was bizarre, but Yeonjun agreed to do it – making a copy of his and Soobin’s soulmate mark on Beomgyu’s skin. Particularly, it’s on his chest, right on top of where his heart beats.

While the needles work on his skin, Beomgyu stared at the tattooist’s face, learning his side profile. He managed to keep his mouth shut for a full minute before the question finally slipped off.

“You don’t hate me, Yeonjun-ssi?”

The male stopped working for a bit, throwing a look at his customer. “What for?”

“For Soobin. And now this.”

“You know I’m not in love with him, right?”

“You could, if I’m not in the picture.”

Yeonjun sighed at his answer, plush lips pressed together for a second as he thought.

“Well, I don’t believe in the concept of soulmates being lovers only. A piece of your soul can be your best friend, or even enemies? I’ve seen soulmates in platonic relationships. It’s basically just a system to distribute colour privilege,” Yeonjun started rambling as he focused on the tattoo again, now working on the middle part, which should be where the colours were. “I can’t hate you two for being in love.”

That eased his mind a little, even though he felt a little worse in his chest because Yeonjun turned out to be a better person than he thought. Maybe it would have been easier if Soobin’s soulmate was a bad guy instead. Looking back at what the guy said, however, Beomgyu was convinced that he’d like Yeonjun even more.

Once the tattoo was done, Yeonjun put a small patch of bandage over it, smiling teasingly at him while he’s buttoning his shirt back up. “You know this makes you my soulmate too, right?”

Beomgyu didn’t really hate the idea.

Disregarding the advice to keep the bandage on for hours, Beomgyu peeled it off as soon as he got home so he could show it off to Soobin.

Home still felt like _home_ , even with an unpacked suitcase sitting in the middle of their living room and empty spots on their decorations. It felt like home because Soobin made sure of that; sticking to him all the time even if the intention was to bug him.

They knew that their _home_ resided in each other and not this apartment.

“You never showed your latest tattoo and you’re already getting a new one! It’s not fair!”

It was more unfair that Soobin could be this big, yet this clingy. Beomgyu knew that he was stuck the moment his boyfriend cornered him in the kitchen, just as he was picking up a carton of milk.

“I was going to show you anyway! God, Yeonjun hyung wasn’t lying when he said you’re getting whinier,” he nagged, rolling his eyes when Soobin started leaving kisses on his cheek. This guy always knew how to make him give in.

He showed the new tattoo first, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt (technically, Soobin’s shirt that he borrowed for this occasion). Only as the tiny crown tattoo showed up did he start evaluating his decision again, cheeks growing warm under the stare.

“It’s just a dumb idea… I know you said that this doesn’t matter, but I still want to be a part of this. I want to be your everything… wait, what am I saying—“

The more he rambled, the more he knew that he’s not making any sense. He was lucky that Soobin was the one stopping him, lifting his head by his chin and pressing a quick peck to his lips. Once Beomgyu really shut up, he let their foreheads touch gently.

“Idiot. You’re already my everything,” he said softly, earning a smack on his chest just because it made Beomgyu feel even more flustered.

“And the one from last time… I’ve wanted to get this for years but…yeah.”

Soobin’s eyes followed his movement as he pushed the waistband of his sweatpants down, letting it hang lowly on his hips. They could see clearly, the words written in cursive above his hipbone, prettily marking the unmarred skin.

 _I’m glad you found me again_.

“It was the first thing you said the first time we kissed,” Beomgyu said, squirming under Soobin’s stare, and even worse because the guy wasn’t saying anything. “And it still applies now, because you always find me again.”

“Beomgyu?

“Hm?”

“Shut up for a bit,” he said. “I’m going to cry.”

“Oh… no.”

It became an ‘oh no’ moment because Soobin was not the type to cry, and when he cried, he cried with all his heart. Beomgyu had to drag him out of the kitchen and into their bedroom before he collapsed there. Fortunately, he was chuckling as a teardrop fell to his cheek, just as Beomgyu wrapped a blanket around his frame.

He then started rambling too while crying, explaining that he had doubts too in the beginning ever since he met Yeonjun and started to feel hurt whenever he made a contact with Beomgyu. He beat himself up for that, and even more when Beomgyu left him.

“It’s not your fault, honestly. Heck, I would leave myself too if it were me.”

Soobin arched a brow, rubbing his reddened nose. “You would?”

“Yeah, but you’re not allowed to do that. Not anymore. You didn’t take the chance and now that I’m back here—“he didn’t get to finish his demand as Soobin tackled him into the bed, kissing him full on the lips to shut him up.

(“You know that this makes you Yeonjun hyung’s soulmate too, right?” Soobin realized later on.

“Yeah, honestly, I would steal him from you any other day,” he scoffed. “Did you look at him?”

“Well I can’t blame you for that.”)

**Author's Note:**

> it's a prompt from my [ prompt bingo](https://twitter.com/soogyulvr/status/1237602375486984192?s=20)! which I only start writing now... bold of me to assume that I could write all of them.
> 
> the original prompt:  
> Soogyu + (not fate but by choice, probably angst) soulmates  
> thank you for the painful idea >:(


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